Balance

Seeing this picture reminds me of how much the dynamic of our family changed in an instant. We transitioned from having "control and balance" to a whirlwind of organized chaos. Over the past 3 years we have managed to find a balance (while it may not work for some) that is perfect for our family unit. We are the opitomy of a chaotic, functional family.

I recently decided that I was going back to work full-time once we had settled into our new city. This decision was not made lightly and had me conflicted. It was hard to even fill out the applications or dust off the good ol' resume. But as it turns out, I enjoyed the interview process and feeling like I was a "grown-up" again. It gave me an identity that had been hung up in the back of the closet for safe keeping upon the birth of my second son. Much to my surprise, after only 2 interviews I was offered a position. A position, that much to my surprise, will be directly related to College Degree I earned 10 short-years ago. Yes, Alicia Maltby, is a college graduate. I knew before they called that if I was given an offer I had fully intended on taking it so the answer was yes, without a moments hesitation. This may seem over eager or desperate but they did say they were looking for an enthusiastic candidate, right?

I have gone over this decision time and time again hoping that I made the best decision for my family. Will it change the boys? Will I have a hard time with the balance between career and family? I think too much time is spent criticizing the working mother, some aren't built to be housewives forever. I love the time I spent raising my boys and just because I am going back to work doesn't mean they will be neglected, if anything, the time I do have with them will be more cherished. I've come to the realization in order for me to like my children, I must have some space from them. I LOVE my children ALWAYS but sometimes I need to appreciate them just as much as they need to appreciate me. Having space is good for any relationship, right? I mean, we can't spend every waking moment with the people dear to us no matter how much we love them. It just isn't natural!

I also realized that the "Bits" need time away from me as well. They are so excited to go to preschool and WANT to be with other children their age. So just as much I have outgrown staying home, they are starting to outgrow being at home. And so...our family is again transitioning into a new dynamic.

Family is about balance. Finding what works for your unit and embracing it. Just when I think I have made a bad choice by going back to work, I am quickly reminded while using the bathroom, why this is going to be a great change in our family dynamic!

"Mommy, what are you doing in there?"

If I get nothing else out of this job, I will get at least get to use the bathroom. All. By. Myself.

Forget health insurance! Silent trips to the restroom might be the best benefit of this job!