Shades of Gray

"The Beauty Of Gray"

If I told you he was your brother

We could reminisce

Then you would go about your day

If I said you ought to give him some of your water

You'd shake your canteen and walk away

The perception that divides you from him

Is a lie For some reason you never asked why

This is not a black and white world

You can't afford to believe in your side

This is not a black and white world

To be alive I say that the colours must swirl

And I believe

That maybe today

We will all get to appreciate

The Beauty of Gray

If I told you she was your mother

We could analyze the situation and be gone

If I said you ought to give her

Some of your water

Your eyes would light up like the dawn

The perception that divides you from her

Is a lie

For some reason we never asked why

This is not a black and white world

You can't afford to believe in your side

This is not a black and white world

To be alive

I say the colors must swirl

And I believe

That maybe today

We will all get to appreciate

The beauty of gray

Look into your eyes

No daylight

New day now

-LIVE

For those of you that know Shawn and I, one of the things we found out early on that we had in common was our love of the band LIVE. He however, was a mega-fan, and I only had a few albums. He introduced me to all of their albums and so my love affair (for the music and my husband) flourished. Recently, they split up and we both hold out hope that they will someday, find their way reunite so we can at least catch one last concert together. Their lyrics are inspiring and are truly life changing.

That, however, is not the premise for this blog post.

Recently, there was a debate via Facebook on abortion. I will not give my personal opinion because quite frankly it is no one's business but my own how I feel about that particular subject. What I will say is the first thing that came to mind were the above lyrics as I read some people's harsh opinions (I myself, giving one about being open minded and not judging others). This song has been a favorite of mine because it speaks to the soul on seeing world in a new light. Black and White doesn't work for every situation.

I am a very principled individual, I do things in my life and base decisions upon the sheer principle behind them. Right, wrong or indifferent. I also can be open enough to see where others are coming from. This in and of itself is a true journey, that I am still struggling to improve daily. I believe it is human nature to immediately jump to judgement when faced with a tough situation. Being compassionate and open to another person's turmoil and grief is a learned behavior. I do have zero tolerance for nonsense but if you are open and honest with me, I will forever be loyal. I would rather know where you stand than to be struggling to figure it out.

All of us are on our own journey in life and our choice and decisions, though not always right, shape the people we are. I challenge everyone to read these lyrics and live by the motto that we don't live in a black and white world. Some situations are clearly right or wrong, but most are many shades of gray. Be open enough to see life from all aspects, it will make us ALL much more compassionate people.

Balance

Seeing this picture reminds me of how much the dynamic of our family changed in an instant. We transitioned from having "control and balance" to a whirlwind of organized chaos. Over the past 3 years we have managed to find a balance (while it may not work for some) that is perfect for our family unit. We are the opitomy of a chaotic, functional family.

I recently decided that I was going back to work full-time once we had settled into our new city. This decision was not made lightly and had me conflicted. It was hard to even fill out the applications or dust off the good ol' resume. But as it turns out, I enjoyed the interview process and feeling like I was a "grown-up" again. It gave me an identity that had been hung up in the back of the closet for safe keeping upon the birth of my second son. Much to my surprise, after only 2 interviews I was offered a position. A position, that much to my surprise, will be directly related to College Degree I earned 10 short-years ago. Yes, Alicia Maltby, is a college graduate. I knew before they called that if I was given an offer I had fully intended on taking it so the answer was yes, without a moments hesitation. This may seem over eager or desperate but they did say they were looking for an enthusiastic candidate, right?

I have gone over this decision time and time again hoping that I made the best decision for my family. Will it change the boys? Will I have a hard time with the balance between career and family? I think too much time is spent criticizing the working mother, some aren't built to be housewives forever. I love the time I spent raising my boys and just because I am going back to work doesn't mean they will be neglected, if anything, the time I do have with them will be more cherished. I've come to the realization in order for me to like my children, I must have some space from them. I LOVE my children ALWAYS but sometimes I need to appreciate them just as much as they need to appreciate me. Having space is good for any relationship, right? I mean, we can't spend every waking moment with the people dear to us no matter how much we love them. It just isn't natural!

I also realized that the "Bits" need time away from me as well. They are so excited to go to preschool and WANT to be with other children their age. So just as much I have outgrown staying home, they are starting to outgrow being at home. And so...our family is again transitioning into a new dynamic.

Family is about balance. Finding what works for your unit and embracing it. Just when I think I have made a bad choice by going back to work, I am quickly reminded while using the bathroom, why this is going to be a great change in our family dynamic!

"Mommy, what are you doing in there?"

If I get nothing else out of this job, I will get at least get to use the bathroom. All. By. Myself.

Forget health insurance! Silent trips to the restroom might be the best benefit of this job!