Shades of Gray

"The Beauty Of Gray"

If I told you he was your brother

We could reminisce

Then you would go about your day

If I said you ought to give him some of your water

You'd shake your canteen and walk away

The perception that divides you from him

Is a lie For some reason you never asked why

This is not a black and white world

You can't afford to believe in your side

This is not a black and white world

To be alive I say that the colours must swirl

And I believe

That maybe today

We will all get to appreciate

The Beauty of Gray

If I told you she was your mother

We could analyze the situation and be gone

If I said you ought to give her

Some of your water

Your eyes would light up like the dawn

The perception that divides you from her

Is a lie

For some reason we never asked why

This is not a black and white world

You can't afford to believe in your side

This is not a black and white world

To be alive

I say the colors must swirl

And I believe

That maybe today

We will all get to appreciate

The beauty of gray

Look into your eyes

No daylight

New day now

-LIVE

For those of you that know Shawn and I, one of the things we found out early on that we had in common was our love of the band LIVE. He however, was a mega-fan, and I only had a few albums. He introduced me to all of their albums and so my love affair (for the music and my husband) flourished. Recently, they split up and we both hold out hope that they will someday, find their way reunite so we can at least catch one last concert together. Their lyrics are inspiring and are truly life changing.

That, however, is not the premise for this blog post.

Recently, there was a debate via Facebook on abortion. I will not give my personal opinion because quite frankly it is no one's business but my own how I feel about that particular subject. What I will say is the first thing that came to mind were the above lyrics as I read some people's harsh opinions (I myself, giving one about being open minded and not judging others). This song has been a favorite of mine because it speaks to the soul on seeing world in a new light. Black and White doesn't work for every situation.

I am a very principled individual, I do things in my life and base decisions upon the sheer principle behind them. Right, wrong or indifferent. I also can be open enough to see where others are coming from. This in and of itself is a true journey, that I am still struggling to improve daily. I believe it is human nature to immediately jump to judgement when faced with a tough situation. Being compassionate and open to another person's turmoil and grief is a learned behavior. I do have zero tolerance for nonsense but if you are open and honest with me, I will forever be loyal. I would rather know where you stand than to be struggling to figure it out.

All of us are on our own journey in life and our choice and decisions, though not always right, shape the people we are. I challenge everyone to read these lyrics and live by the motto that we don't live in a black and white world. Some situations are clearly right or wrong, but most are many shades of gray. Be open enough to see life from all aspects, it will make us ALL much more compassionate people.

Balance

Seeing this picture reminds me of how much the dynamic of our family changed in an instant. We transitioned from having "control and balance" to a whirlwind of organized chaos. Over the past 3 years we have managed to find a balance (while it may not work for some) that is perfect for our family unit. We are the opitomy of a chaotic, functional family.

I recently decided that I was going back to work full-time once we had settled into our new city. This decision was not made lightly and had me conflicted. It was hard to even fill out the applications or dust off the good ol' resume. But as it turns out, I enjoyed the interview process and feeling like I was a "grown-up" again. It gave me an identity that had been hung up in the back of the closet for safe keeping upon the birth of my second son. Much to my surprise, after only 2 interviews I was offered a position. A position, that much to my surprise, will be directly related to College Degree I earned 10 short-years ago. Yes, Alicia Maltby, is a college graduate. I knew before they called that if I was given an offer I had fully intended on taking it so the answer was yes, without a moments hesitation. This may seem over eager or desperate but they did say they were looking for an enthusiastic candidate, right?

I have gone over this decision time and time again hoping that I made the best decision for my family. Will it change the boys? Will I have a hard time with the balance between career and family? I think too much time is spent criticizing the working mother, some aren't built to be housewives forever. I love the time I spent raising my boys and just because I am going back to work doesn't mean they will be neglected, if anything, the time I do have with them will be more cherished. I've come to the realization in order for me to like my children, I must have some space from them. I LOVE my children ALWAYS but sometimes I need to appreciate them just as much as they need to appreciate me. Having space is good for any relationship, right? I mean, we can't spend every waking moment with the people dear to us no matter how much we love them. It just isn't natural!

I also realized that the "Bits" need time away from me as well. They are so excited to go to preschool and WANT to be with other children their age. So just as much I have outgrown staying home, they are starting to outgrow being at home. And so...our family is again transitioning into a new dynamic.

Family is about balance. Finding what works for your unit and embracing it. Just when I think I have made a bad choice by going back to work, I am quickly reminded while using the bathroom, why this is going to be a great change in our family dynamic!

"Mommy, what are you doing in there?"

If I get nothing else out of this job, I will get at least get to use the bathroom. All. By. Myself.

Forget health insurance! Silent trips to the restroom might be the best benefit of this job!

Integrity

Let me begin by saying, I went to the doctor recently to discuss some anxiety issues that I have battled for several years. Mostly, a direct result of post-partum depression added to the fact that I am neurotic and maybe a tiny bit controlling; but for those of you that know me...this is no big surprise! It was at this appointment that the doctor and I discussed therapy. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about therapy but I don't have the time to sit for an hour and talk about myself and my "issues" so I had an amazing revelation...blogging! What better way to get it all out there and better yet, it's ALL free!!!

So let the therapy begin!

Recently, Shawn and I have gone through some serious life changes/choices. We lost his Dad this Spring and at that point a new job opportunity arose and we are always up for a challenge so we took it. Sometimes tragedy brings opportunity for change and forces you to assess your life and do what makes you happy. It does require the family to move to Anchorage so it comes with a lot of mixed emotions because so much of our life together is centered around this town and specifically this home that we share together. With change comes a range of emotions, all of which we were ready to face head on. We have each other, after all, and that has always worked for us in the past. The one thing I was not prepared for was the backlash that has come from us moving forward.

I understand people will get their feelings hurt because in Shawn's line of business these teams were established as clubs and people get very attached to the fact that they feel like they are part of something bigger. We never intended to hurt feelings but you don't get anywhere in life but staying in one place and not going for what you want. Shawn has never been one to not look at the bigger picture and reach for a new challenge. It is what I love about him. So, the fact that so many people have said such horrible and hateful things about this wonderful person in my life, is disgusting and pisses me off to depths I cannot even express in words!!

It is one thing to get your feelings hurt and pout for a day or two, but 3 months, really??? Don't you have anyone else to discuss??? We have done a lot for this organization and this community so to have people blatantly attack Shawn's integrity and intentions is a complete crock of shit! He is a man of great integrity and in life we only have one thing that we control, how we treat others! Instead of focusing on what you lost, why don't you focus on how this could make you better? Isn't that what makes champions?? (I think I read this on a Wheaties box as a child but I could be wrong!) This is a business and in handling things as such...no one owes anyone in this community a god damned thing!

I guess in a small town, things never change. People still get envious when someone else moves on and they are stuck where they are because they get sucked into a small-minded mentality and don't see outside of the little pond they are living in. I say it often, being from a small town does not mean you have to settle for having a small mind. Think bigger and strive to be something bigger than you are! We are only as good as our word in this world, when people make up rumors and lies about a person it attacks their moral threads and in some cases the damage is irreversible. For those that know us and know what we stand for, what you see is what you get. You may not like what we have to say but at least you know where we stand. Integrity sets apart the good from the bad. It is the one thing in your life that no matter what people say or do, they truly can't change about a person. If you have strong moral compass the rest falls into place. Good things eventually happen to good people, sometimes not right when you want it to but all in due time.

Though these attacks hurt and make me angry, I will not give up on the people in this community that make my heart happy. We have made so many life-long friendships and connections here. Just stay true to you and if someone tries to tell you information that is untrue about somebody, set them straight. Life is not Junior High, rumors and lies have dire consequences now.

Just remember; good things happen to good people and bad things well... you see where I'm going. Our lives will collide again and when they do we will hold our heads high because we have nothing to be ashamed of. Can you say the same?

You're right, Doc, much better....

Happy Anniversary Maltbys!!!

8 years ago (6/1/2002), Shawn and I became Husband and Wife! This year marks our 10th year together!!

I love you honey and wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else! Mostly, because no one else would put up with me!!! ;) To all those who doubted us and our crazy beginning, let's keep making them jealous!!!

To another 100 years!!

Resolutions, Smesolutions...

I would like to begin by saying...I suck at Resolutions and you all should've known better than to expect weekly blogs from me. You all should know by now, I take on way too many projects and though I generally finish all of them, timelines are not my forte.

Now onto the good stuff.....

Summer is in full swing!! School is officially out and we couldn't be happier (insert sacrastic eye roll here.) The brightside, weather has been abnormally warm for May and that truly DOES make me happy!

Let's see...

Shawn and I went to Florida the first weekend in May to celebrate the wedding of our dear friend/sister, Leslie! What an amazing weekend we had. Mom and Scott watched the boys and we were able to enjoy the wedding festivities! It is so refreshing to get back around such good family and friends. We had a blast and Shawn has a new found love/hate relationship with Beefeaters. I have video but will save that for a later date when he is on punishment. All I will say is it involved dancing, throwing hands in the air and a possible "woohoo!" Let your imagination take you away. Thank you so much to the Jones Family for including us in this special time and Congratulations to Aunt Sassy and "Uncle" Ben!! We love you guys!!

Dylan had an extremely busy Spring. Field Trips, testing, programs and t-ball. The day we left for Florida, I spent the day at the Anchorage Zoo with Dylan's class. What a great day! The weather was nice and all the kids did amazing on their projects. Dylan did his report on the Wolverine and was so well spoken when he had to read it...makes Mommy proud. Dylan did amazingly well in his standardized testing this year either scoring right at or above where he should be so we are extremely proud of the student he is becoming. We are pleased to announce that he will be in the same class as this year as his teacher was asked to teach the 2nd grade. She only agreed with the stipulation that her 1st graders made the transition with her.

Next Year's Assignment: 2nd Grade!!

Carson!!! Oh, Carson!! This child continues to crack me up while testing my last nerve! He is peculiar and extremely animated. Still trying to figure out where he gets that?!?! ;) He played Indoor Soccer this season and really enjoyed himself. His BFF Cavan (they actually share the same birthday just a year apart) was on his team and I think they had more fun chasing each other around and announcing, "Let's kick some booty butts!" More than they actually enjoyed playing Soccer itself.

Carson was also accepted into the pre-school program at Mountain View so that means, we will have both boys at the same school next year. Shawn and I feel that this transition will be much easier for him in Kindergarten. He will go all 5 days for 3 hours a day!! I have to say, I was super impressed with his intelligence...he is one sharp little guy, now to get him to focus! Um, what is that???

Next Year's Assignment: Preschool

(Carson and Cavan had their very first sleep-over! They are super funny and seriously could be brothers...so cute!)

As I mentioned earlier we are in T-ball Season and this year 4-year-olds were allowed to play so

Dylan and Carson are on the same team this year!

This provides much comic relief as well as a little sibling rivalry. I think Dylan might be getting too big for his britches and kind of shows off. He clearly should be in "Coach Pitch" this year but his birthday was 2 months shy of the cut-off. This second year in T-ball will be good for him and maybe, just maybe teach him a little humility. One can only hope, right?? Carson follows in his brother's footsteps but as a left-hander! It will be extremely interesting to see how different they play the game. I will attest to the fact that their slides into home plate (completely unnecessary are all runners score) are AMAZING!!!

The Bits are getting ever so close to turning 2 and boy are they showing signs of the "terrible toddler" behavior!! They have a serious case of the "NO's," and I'm pretty sure they are trying to decide how to make the Grand escape from Casa de Maltby! We have moved them into big boy beds and like every transition this too has proven a bit challenging but we are surviving and they LOVE their new beds! We had some neighbors moving so the time was right to score some new beds pretty cheap!!! I figured now was as good a time as any though my 4:45 wake up calls may disagree.

They are just growing up so fast and we now have to lock every door to keep them in. They have been found wandering the streets on more than one occasion. I generally have them captured by the time they are next door but still, kind of scary. They have been plotting their escape since conception; first from the womb and now from their home. What next, sheet ladders from their windows? I mean, seriously...we are in for it with these two!!

Next Year's Assignment: Potty Training, Prison Jumpsuits and Bars on the Windows

I will make an effort to update this a little more often this Summer but no promises. Not like I'm too busy for you all but really, I am! Sorry, gotta be honest!!

xoxo

Would you like some potatoes with that gravy???

This week has by far been the most odd and utterly entertaining all wrapped into one. The 5 "dudes" in my life have all managed to try my nerves and make me laugh hysterically. Sometimes at the same time, in general I would blame this on hormones but considering I am almost 2 years post-partum I blame sleep deprivation and South Beach.

I decided to start South Beach last week. This is a wonderful jump-start to diets and would have worked had I not been running to train for a half-marathon. I found myself more aggitated than usual and am pretty sure I was going into shock. Headaches and double vision led to dreams of doughnuts and cake. Needless to say, I went back to the land of carbs and am loving it!!!! God bless you flour...you are my friend!

Shawn has decided that he wants to run the Iditarod. This revelation came out of left field and I would've been surprised but he does these things sometimes and they usually pass. He then proceeded to explain to me how he would run it and win and beat all the records. It was at this point I explained to him that, a) we don't own a dog let alone multiple dogs to actually race the Iditarod, b) he grew up in Florida and doesn't fair well in the cold and c) we don't own a dog let alone multiple dogs...I then suggested a unicycle. We still need to work out the logistics but stay tuned...this could be AMAZING!!!

Dylan has been pretty low-key. He is leader of the pack so to speak so he puffs his chest and tries to control the masses. He has currently become "gangster" and throws "gangster" signage and says phrases such as "Ah, Snap" and "What up!" You should see him dance...ghetto superstar meets extremely preppy 6-year-old Irish boy. CLASSIC!!! He is completely baseball obsessed and if I hear the tennis ball bounce off my wall one more time this week...I might scream!!!

Carson has entered a phase of pure awesomeness...NOT!!! He has become more challenging and stubborn than I ever could imagine. He refuses breakfast, lunch and dinner after he puts in the request for specific entrees choices. He will then stomp his feet and tell me how "awful" I am and how "bisgusting" his food is. After about 20 minutes he is in full on laughter and chowing down??? I don't get it??? I thought girls were supposed to be emotional??? I'm not sure I like him...I mean, I love him but there are days I would like to have him raised by a group of English Nannies and returned when he is properly versed in the art of table manners. His new phrase is OMG, as in, Oh my Gravy! Not sure where we came up with this phrase but I find myself using it often. He will break it out when his utterly "bisgusted" with me or his brothers.

The bits are now into, wait for it....poop! They are obsessed with their poo! it is the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced with all my boys!!! This happens during nap time and in the worst case results in diapers being thrown around the room. What would possess a perfectly normal 21 month old child to throw his diaper across the room??? They are like little primates that you watch at the zoo. You know the ones that throw poop at the protective glass where you gaulk and giggle as they play with their feces. Not funny people!!!! Not funny at all!!!
I think the shower might have been a provided the solution but now they are afraid of their bath...maybe I should duct tape their diapers???
Aside from their primal indiscretions they are pretty much the funniest children I have ever met in my life. I'm not sure if it is the fact that there are two of them but they are just like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum!!! They play off each other and I'm fairly certain they talk about us in their alien like language. This usually results in hysterical laughter...twins are a strange phenomenon that I'm not sure we will ever understand them. And sometimes I think that might be a good thing...

Whoever said that raising boys is WAY easier than raising girls, has either had no children at all or sedated their sons until the age of 16. Either way they are filthy liars and should be punished! I recommend a day in my house with no lunch or bathroom breaks...

The Maltby's Lately...

The Maltbys Lately.... Oh, where to begin???We had an amazing holiday season....Aunt Kelsey and Uncle Boyle came to visit and kept the boys busy. They spent Christmas morning, building a snowman with the boys and I think it may have been a first for several of the children (and adults.) Grandma has bought them a "snowman" kit! Comes with all you need to make a cute snowman...super fun!!!

The New Year came on quickly and we have been busy as usual. We have been tackling an upcoming Oilers event and are hoping it is a HUGE success!! Alicia started a new business and is working hard to build her client list and so far things have taken off. Thanks to her sister Kamela, we are hoping to keep the business going for years to come. You can check out their website at: http://www.boldbodybronzing.com/. Amazing products are used and Alicia is having a fun time meeting new people and making the Kenai Peninsula beautiful one tan at a time. (OK, a little cheesy, but hey...Marketing, right??)

Dylan is busy with school and is growing so fast. He is such a good student and is getting exceptional marks in all areas of first grade. He is gearing up for baseball clinics (yes, already!!) He is continuing to lose all his teeth....at this rate the tooth fairy might be broke by Summer. Teeth have gone up in market value. What happened to 50 cents a tooth???

Carson is still as funny and crazy as always. This child never ceases to amaze us...so witty and extremely stubborn. He just had his teeth fixed on Friday in surgery. So he now has a mouth full of metal until his "gwown up teef" come in. The nurses at the hospital just loved him and think he is very charming. The doctor had asked him if he wanted to hear them sing Neil Diamond or Barry Manilow and he responded, "Neil Diamond sounds good!" Pretty sure he doesn't know who that is but it cracked them up and they are now smitten with our little charmer. He is eagerly awaiting pre-school in August and is fairly certain he will be the "Best student ebber!"

He was given this hat from his Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa Curry...he was so excited that he gave us a Ho-Ho-Ho!!! Like we said before....Funny Kid!!

Oh and finally, the bits! TNT are growing like weeds and are well, turning 2 soon! What else to say??? They are full of attitude and independence these days. We are fairly certain the other boys were just as much "trouble" but there is something to be said about the twin bond and how much more trouble they can get into, together! They are each other's best friend and biggest enemy all wrapped into one. Needless to say, we count our blessings daily that Alicia was able to give birth to two healthy baby boys with no health challenges. That in itself, is our miracle! (Trevor is growling and Trey is putting on his "cheese" face!)

Well, I was going to load some videos but for some reason...I can't! Anyway...I will keep trying and post them soon!!! Love you all...